A good hunting dog should have a good nose. Buford can smell a pizza
delivery truck when it's two blocks away.
A good hunting dog should be able to hear better than the hunter he is
with. Buford can hear the refrigerator door open when he's outside playing
with the neighbor's dog. On the other hand, if I'm calling him inside for
a bath, I could yell loud enough to wake up three generations of his
ancestors and he wouldn't hear me.
A good hunting dog must have excellent eye sight. Buford can see cookies
through cupboard doors, but he can't see well enough to pick up the dog
food he spills on the floor.
A good hunting dog must be athletic. Buford may be short, but he's
athletic enough to drag a pizza box off of the kitchen counter if you turn
A good hunting dog needs a good appetite. Buford will eat that pizza if
you don't catch him fast enough.
A good hunting dog must be patient. Buford would wait until the Amazon
froze without moving a muscle if he thought it would gain him a bite of
something you were eating.
A good hunting dog must be level headed. Buford is so level headed, he
can drool out both sides of his mouth at the same time, especially if
you're eating pizza or a hamburger.
A good hunting dog must be obedient. Buford would try to sing the Star
Spangled Banner if you asked him and food was the reward. On the other
hand, if you don't have food in your hand, he's likely to ignore the most
A good hunting dog should be friendly. Buford is so friendly, he'd try to
lick the freckles off your children, especially if those freckles had
peanut butter on them.
A good hunting dog should be a good pointer. Buford can point out a piece
of pizza at twenty paces.
A good hunting dog should be a good retriever. Buford will retrieve your
best shoes from the closet, your wallet from the dresser, or toilet paper
from the roll in the bathroom (he hasn't learned to tear it off yet).
Unfortunately, he thinks he has to kill everything he retrieves. I still
haven't found everything I had in my wallet.