Lighter Side

What is life if there is not laughter? Welcome to the lighter side of flyfishing! We welcome your humorous stories here!
January 3rd, 2000

A good hunting dog is:
Some examples of features to look for in a hunting dog

by Al Campbell

Every hunter needs a hunting dog. I'm a hunter and I have a hunting dog that comes from a line of champions with pedigrees a mile long. He demonstrates all of the best qualities of the best hunting dogs. He is however, selective in when and how he demonstrates these traits. My dog is named Buford Pusser after the tough sheriff in the movie "Walking Tall". The irony is that my Buford is a basset hound and will never walk tall.

Let's let Buford demonstrate some of the best traits of a hunting dog.

    A good hunting dog should have a good nose. Buford can smell a pizza delivery truck when it's two blocks away.

    A good hunting dog should be able to hear better than the hunter he is with. Buford can hear the refrigerator door open when he's outside playing with the neighbor's dog. On the other hand, if I'm calling him inside for a bath, I could yell loud enough to wake up three generations of his ancestors and he wouldn't hear me.

    A good hunting dog must have excellent eye sight. Buford can see cookies through cupboard doors, but he can't see well enough to pick up the dog food he spills on the floor.

    A good hunting dog must be athletic. Buford may be short, but he's athletic enough to drag a pizza box off of the kitchen counter if you turn your back.

    A good hunting dog needs a good appetite. Buford will eat that pizza if you don't catch him fast enough.

    A good hunting dog must be patient. Buford would wait until the Amazon froze without moving a muscle if he thought it would gain him a bite of something you were eating.

    A good hunting dog must be level headed. Buford is so level headed, he can drool out both sides of his mouth at the same time, especially if you're eating pizza or a hamburger.

    A good hunting dog must be obedient. Buford would try to sing the Star Spangled Banner if you asked him and food was the reward. On the other hand, if you don't have food in your hand, he's likely to ignore the most urgent command.

    A good hunting dog should be friendly. Buford is so friendly, he'd try to lick the freckles off your children, especially if those freckles had peanut butter on them.

    A good hunting dog should be a good pointer. Buford can point out a piece of pizza at twenty paces.

    A good hunting dog should be a good retriever. Buford will retrieve your best shoes from the closet, your wallet from the dresser, or toilet paper from the roll in the bathroom (he hasn't learned to tear it off yet).

    Unfortunately, he thinks he has to kill everything he retrieves. I still haven't found everything I had in my wallet.

It doesn't matter much if your dog is a good hunting dog or just a family pet (like Buford), when he snuggles close to you for a little attention he will most likely melt your heart. It's great to have a friend that overlooks all your human faults and accepts you just as you are. ~ Al Campbell

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