Lighter Side
What is life if there is not laughter? Welcome to the lighter side of flyfishing! We welcome your humorous stories here!
October 4th, 1999

Yuffies, Hippies, Geezers and Worm Drowners

by JackOhman
From Fear of Fly Fishing
We thank Jack Ohman for use permission.

NAME: Alton "Buzz" Bondo
OCCUPATION: Unemployable
RESIDENCE: Toledo, Ohio, Mobile Villa Garden Estates
AGE: 39 [looks 55]
QUOTE: "Hey, you wanna catch fish, or dontcha? Pass the cheeze hooks."

Buzz is a major presence at the U-Ketchum Trout Pond off County Road B. Ohio doesn't have any indigenous trout except those that live in aquariums, so the U-Ketchum is a big attraction for the fly-fishing impaired.

Buzz is usually relaxed - okay, anesthetized - so he doesn't really fish for the pure relaxation of it all. It's just another way to get away from his wife (Babs, Beauty Consultant, Miss Maumee River Third Place runner-up, 1966), and kids (Alton Jr., 17, Du Wayne, 16, Wayne Lee, 15, Earl, 13, Shirl, 12, and Bobbie Lou, 11).

Buzz ties fly patterns of his own creation: The Cheez Whiz, Velveeta Special, Kraft's Hopper, Doughball Coachman, Corn Doctor, Maize Quill, Gold-Ribbed Onion Mallow, and the old reliable Night's Crawler.

Buzz caught 320 trout last year at 50 cents a whack, which is about 800 times cheaper than Elliot's [see last week] per-fish cost ratio. ~ Jack Ohman

If you like Jack's fly fishing humor, be sure to look for his new book, GET THE NET! published by Willow Creek.

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