Lighter Side

What is life if there is not laughter? Welcome to the lighter side of flyfishing! We welcome your stories here!
June 13th, 2005

Felonious Flymphs
By Frank Reid

(With apologies to Johnny Carson and Jack Webb.)

"Excuse me officer, I need your help."

"What's the problem, sir?"

"I've been fleeced."

"Fleeced? "

"Yes, some one stole my flymphs."

"You were fleeced of your flymphs? What are flymphs?"

"Fly fishing flies."

"You were fleeced of your fly fishing flymph flies."

"That's right, and they were my favorites."

"Where were these flymphs?"

"Flat on the floor of my Fleetwood.

"Okay. You were fleeced of your favorite fly fishing flymph flies that were flat the floor of your Fleetwood. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Do you have any idea on who may have fleeced you of your favorite fly fishing flymph flies that were on the floor of your Fleetwood?"

"Floyd Fleming."

"Figures. Do you know where Floyd Fleming is?"

"He flew home to Flat Key, Florida."

"Do you know what Floyd Fleming, who lives in Flat Key Florida, does for a living?

"Yes, he works for the whaling fleet cutting blubber from whales. He's the fleet flenser."

"Let me summarize. Fleet-flenser Floyd Fleming fleeced you of your favorite fly fishing flymph flies that were on the floor of your Fleetwood and flew home to Flat Key, Florida."

"That's correct. One more thing."

"Yes."

If I ever catch fleet-flenser Floyd Fleming who fleeced me of my favorite fly fishing flymph flies that were on the floor of my Fleetwood and flew home to Flat Key, Florida..."

"Yes?"

"I gonna flay him." ~ Frank Reid

About Frank:

Born and raised in Southern California, my mother taught me to love fishing. I would fish from the piers around Los Angeles as all my friends hung out on the beach. At age 19, I joined the U.S. Air Force to see the world and liked what I saw, so stayed in for 23 years, finally retiring in 2000. I've lived and fished all over the US and the globe, from the deserts of California to the Philippines, Germany, South Korea, England, beautiful Omaha, Nebraska and about 1,000 other places in between. These travels taught me to fish for whatever happens to be in the local water. I now work in the Baltimore area as a computer consultant trying to earn enough to buy that next new rod or go on that next trip. My wife is Brenda (who's quilting addiction rivals my fly fishing/tying obsession) and we have two lovely daughters. ~ FR
Lighter Side Archive


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