Lighter Side

What is life if there is not laughter? Welcome to the lighter side of flyfishing! We welcome your stories here!
June 9th, 2003

So Yah wanta go Fishen in Minnesota (Minta-soda!
By Steven H. McGarthwaite

Minnesota is well known as the "Land of 10,000 Lakes," you see it on the license plates, of our rusted automobiles, as we drive the interstates in the passing lane, going 45 mph. The mufflers shot, the heaters broke, but the radio is okay; so don't bother rolling down the window of your air condition shiny car to yell at us, we can't hear you over the racket from the engine, radio, and the wheezing heater blower (I did mention the heater blower, didn't I?)

Anyway, the license plate is a big lie. Minnesota has about 15,453 lakes, but if we put that on our cars, everyone would think we were trying to show off. Actually we are not really sure how many lakes we really have, because the DNR, keep misplacing a few every year. Some cabin owner's go "Up North" to the cabin only to discover their lake is gone. Who took it, and when did they take it, just what would someone want with a lake anyway? They are not the easiest things to transport, and where would you store it. Can sell them on E-bay or thru some auction house; "Next up on the block for bidding, we have a 865 acre lake, good structure for walleye and pike fishing with some good size crappies and sunfish! Who will make the opening bid can some start it off at ten dollars?"

One lake was lost so many times, which is what they finally named it, Lost Lake! One time while it was lost they forgot where it had originally been, and built a highway right thru the middle of where it should be. When it finally was found after the last time it was lost, they had to cut it in half, and have it on both sides of the highway. I don't really know what they did with the section the highway took up. Any way while it was lost they also misplaced the records for the lost lakes name. So they had to come up with a new name for the lost lake that was not lost anymore for the time being. Someone suggested naming it "Mud Lake" but it was pointed out we already had 154 "Mud Lakes" in Minnesota.

Anyway, just remember when you come to Minnesota to fish on one of our lakes, and they tell you the name of the lake, be sure to ask them which one is that? Have them give you the GPS coordinates for the center of the lake, county, nearby town, and all road names and numbers surround the lake. I don't want you to be fishing on the wrong lake, and tell everyone about it, when you really don't know where you were in the first place, even if you were have a dang good time of it, and I am sur yah will, dontcha know!

We have some lakes in the Minnesota that are almost as big as Lake Superior, or so it seems when a big windstorm blows up suddenly. Lake Milli Lac (pronounce Ma Lack). Milli Lac is 30 miles north to south, 30 miles east to west, and only 30 feet deep. Milli Lac is on a high area where more water flows out of the lake than into it. Springs on the bottom of the lake supply most of the water. Walleye and Muskies are the fish to try for on Milli Lac. You plan on fishing Milli Lac, have at least a 20 foot boat and GPS. Make sure your wife knows where the will is and where the Grand Casino is not.

Leech Lake up by Walker Minnesota is slightly bigger than Milli Lac Lake. Leech has many bays and inlets, but like Milli Lac Lake, is only 30 feet deep. Here again it is walleye and Muskies, and more Casinos.

Red Lake (Upper and Lower) these two lakes if counted as one lake would be larger than some European nations. Crappies are a bumper crop right now and they average over a pound in size. There are more Casinos' here too.

Wherever you go fishing in Minnesota we have lakes, you can't help but running into one as you are driving thru the state, same goes for Casino's, why do you think we are always saying "Yah Betcha!"

If you wanted to fish every lake in Minnesota, and planned on fishing one lake per day, year round, it would take you over 68 years to complete the task. You have to consider in the time when the ice is too thing to walk on, not to mention too thin to drive on with the car.

Speaking of Ice Fishing, some of us have pretty fancy ice fishing houses. During the winter whole communities sprout up on the lake over night, with paved roads street signs, and mail delivery. Some Ice Fishing Houses have 3 bedrooms, a living room, dinning room, family room, and a fishing hole in every corner of each room.

One person I know refuses to ice fish, so he has a boathouse on the lake. The boathouse is 8 feet by 400 feet, so he can go trolling, dontcha know!

Then just as these towns appear on the lake surface, they magically disappear. Usually at the end of January when the DNR says they have to go, sometimes sooner if there is a winter thaw, and the water opens up.

When you are driving your car or truck on the lake ice, always stop when you see someone standing, waving their arms in the air, as you are driving by. My friend did that, regretted doing so. The man was standing on the roof of his car in water up to his ankles, trying to warn my friend about the thin ice. When the authorities got the two cars out of the lake they found a third car down there. The man, who had tried to wave my friend down, explained that was also his car. Seemed he broke thru the ice with that car earlier in the day. He had gone home and gotten the wife's car to try and pull his out, when the wife's car went thru the ice.

So if you are going ice fishing in Minnesota remember always drive with windows down if you car breaks thru the ice. And be sure to use the wife's car, when you are going to drive out on the lake, to go ice fishing. ~ Parnelli

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