Lighter Side
January 11th, 1999

When Bad Rods Happen to Good People

By Jack Ohman
Excerpt from Fear of Fly Fishing Thanks Jack!

THE TIP BREAKS OFF - It has been theorized that fly rods act as dowsing sticks and have an inconvenient tendency to drive themselves into the ground in search of something other than good dry fly water. The remedy is to carry them reel first rather than tip first.

THE END SECTION COMES OFF - This usually happens when everyone is watching. Your're trying to execute a perfect double-haul, and you have neglected to put the ferrules together tightly, and as you bring the rod forward, it comes off at about 80 mph, heads into the water, and is never seen again.

THE ROD AS A WEAPON - It's easier than you think to get whipped in the face - it doesn't tickle - by a buddy's rod while you're walking through heavy brush. It's easier than you think to get a rod tip in your mouth when you're walking down a narrow path behind another guy with a fly rod who stops suddenly.

THE GUIDES FREEZE OVER - When this happens, you should probably be indoors oiling your reel, but most fly fishermen are monomaniacs and hence are out in extremely cold weather. Ice in the guides is nature's way of telling you to go back to your car.

YOU BECOME A ROD COLLECTOR - This is an untreatable mental illness, like Hummel figurine collecting. Generally speaking, it's okay to have four or five rods, but some people have to have every single one that is manufactured every year, or worse, several of the same kind of rod. These people become fly-rod survivalists, hunkered down in their bunkers with a 200-year supply of fly rods. ~ Jack Ohman

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