Lighter Side

What is life if there is not laughter? Welcome to the lighter side of flyfishing! We welcome your stories here!
January 21st, 2002

Texas Version of Windows
Sent in by Allen Crise, Texas (of course)

Dear Customers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 2002 TEXAS EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of TEXAS. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The TEXAS edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 02, with a background picture of Sam Houston superimposed on a Texas flag. It is shipped with a Remember the Alamo screen saver. Please also note:

    The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"

    My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"

    Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"

    Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"

    Hard Drive is referred to as "4 Wheel Drive"

    Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs"

    Instead of an error message a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up.

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN TEXAS EDITION:

    OK . . . . . . . . . . ats aw-right

    Cancel . . . . . . . stopdat

    Reset . . . . . . . . try er agin

    Yes . . . . . . . . . yep

    No . . . . . . . . . . noop

    Find . . . . . . . . . hunt fer it

    Go to. . . . . . . . over yonder

    Back . . . . . . . . back yonder

    Help . . . . . . . . hep me out here

    Stop . . . . . . . . . kwitit

    Start . . . . . . . . . crank er up

    Settings . . . . . . settins

    Programs . . . . . stuff at duz stuff

    Documents . . . . stuff ah done did

Also note that TEXAS EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 02:

    Tiperiter . . . . . . . . A word processing program

    colerin book . . . . . a graphics program

    cyferin mersheen . calculator

    outhouse paper . . notepad

    iner-net . . . . . . . . ..Microsoft Explorer4.0

    pichers . . . . . . . . . A graphics viewer

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the TEXAS EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version if y'all want.

I hope this helps all y'all!
Billy Bob Gates

Lighter Side Archive


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