Always Thought Green Snakes Were Ok? Read On . . .
Green Garden Grass snakes can be dangerous, Yes, grass snakes, not
rattlesnakes. A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a
lot of potted plants, and during a recent cold spell, the wife was
bringing in a lot of them indoors to protect them from
a possible freeze.
By author unknown, sent in by Robin Thyne
It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in
one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it
slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a
very loud scream. The husband who was taking a
shower ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem
was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.
He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.
About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed
him in the butt. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he
fainted. His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she
called an ambulance.
The attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and
started carrying him out. About that time the snake came
out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw
it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's
when the man broke his leg and why he is in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she
called on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture
the snake. He armed himself with a rolled up newspaper and began
poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was
gone and told the woman, and she sat down on the sofa in relief.
But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where
she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and
fainted, and the snake rushed back under the sofa. The neighbor
man, seeing her laying there passed out, tried to use
CPR to revive her.
The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the
grocery store, heard the loud scream. Still carrying her
groceries, she ran next door, saw her husband's mouth on the
woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of
the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting
his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.
An ambulance was again called and it was determined that the
injury required hospitalization. The noise woke the
woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the
floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed
he had been bitten by the snake.
She went to the kitchen, brought back a small bottle of whiskey,
and began pouring it down the man's throat. By now
the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the
whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had
occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the two women
tried to explain how it all happened over a little
green snake. They called an ambulance, which took away the
neighbor and his sobbing wife.
Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch. One
of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it.
He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table that was on
one side of the sofa. The table fell over and the lamp
on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the
drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out the flames
and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family
dog, who startled, jumped up and raced out into the
street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into
the parked police car and set it on fire.
Meanwhile the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the
entire house was blazing. Neighbors had called the fire
department and the arriving fire truck had started raising his
ladder as they were halfway down the street. The rising
ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and
disconnected the telephones in a ten square city
Time passed . . .Both men were discharged from the hospital, The
house was re-built, The police acquired a new car,
and all was right with their world . . . About a year later they
were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold
snap for that night. The husband asked his wife if she thought
they should bring in their plants for the night.
She shot him!
Lighter Side Archive