Two Glaswegians, Archie and Jimmy, are sitting in the pub

discussing Jimmy's forthcoming wedding.

"Och, it's all goin' pure brilliant," says Jimmy. "A've got

everythin' organised awready, the fluers, the church, the

caurs, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night".

Archie nods approvingly.

"I've even bought a kilt to be married in!" continues Jimmy.

"A kilt?" exclaims Archie, "That's magic, you'll look pure smart

in that. Whit's the tartan?"

"Och," says Jimmy, "A'd imagine she'll be in white."