This Week's View

by Deanna Lee Birkholm
August 6th, 2007

Toast of the Town

Life is full of surprises - some better than others. My shoulder surgery was canceled, a really big surprise considering I was on the cart in my little backless gown with the net cap and the whole nine yards. The doctor who was to give the anesthesia didn't like the risk factors and pulled the plug. Back to either re-scheduling with a different anesthesiologist or finding another orthopaedic surgeon - or both. None of this has been much fun, and it effects my work which tend to *^% me off even more.

So I'm stomping around on Thursday, some feeling sorry for myself, and something wonderful happened. Hmm, maybe that goes against the bad behavior isn't rewarded?

Anyway, JC came home from the daily post office run with a large box. My right hand doesn't handle knives too well right now, so JC had to cut the tape on the box for me. And there is a box within the box. JC helped open again. Inside, carefully packed, padded on both ends, is a loaf of Wonder bread! Not only that, I can smell it. It smells like real bread.

The bread came all the way from Hales Corners, Wisconsin. This is the result of my sniveling a while back about the demise of all things wonderful (including but not limited to Wonder Bread). So my sincere thanks to George for his very thoughtful and considerate present, which by the way didn't just make my day, it probably made my week. It may have just saved my life.

Wonder bread

Now what does one do with a virgin loaf of Wonder Bread? Since I didn't have a proper tomato to build a sandwich, I did the next best thing. I made a piece of toast. On the buttered toast I liberally smeared fresh raspberry jam, (one of the few freezer jams available commercially) and let it drip off my chin. Not very lady-like, but once in a while a person does get to let it drip.

Not to be discouraged George, I did go to the big destination grocery store and found a perfect heritage tomato. Translated that means one which won't bounce when dropped ten feet from a ladder, and actually smells and tastes like a tomato. It made an absolutely perfect sandwich on my Wonder bread. Thanks again George. Did I mention the heritage tomato cost $4.95 a pound?

The whole thing did bring up another problem. We discussed this some time ago on the bulletin board. Toasters. We've had three in the past few years, the one we have now looks a bit post modern (in fact like an old Seattle Ferry boat) and while not cheap, doesn't make toast worth a darn. Brown on one side, white on the other - or burnt crusts. It has a 'setting' for muffins, bagels, which doesn't work either. But I suppose having the setting is something. What I'm not sure.

So my Wonder bread toast wasn't all it could have been. Had it been made with a toaster which quickly toasted the outside of the bread while leaving the middle soft and warm.

Ah ha! Another search - and we may have found one. Those of you from the UK may be familiar with the brand, and if I've done the wrong thing, please let me know. The catalog says it is the U.K.'s top toaster, Russell Hobbs. It has a lot of those 'settings' too, and I'll let you know if it works. Any input is appreciated. It's been ordered.

Can you believe anyone can get so cranked up over a loaf of bread? And a toaster?

But the again, perhaps it is a call in the wilderness from one poor soul who really doesn't want to lose the good things we have. Sure there are lots of 'new' products out there - but forgive me, I would be delighted to keep some of the old ones which served us so well. ~ The LadyFisher

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