June 13th, 2005

By James Castwell

I kept my head down a bit, shifty-eyed as I passed through the office door. I don't like these places much, usually they cause me some pain both physically and financially, but I was determined to go through with it at all costs. Today was the day and tonight I was going to put pen to paper about the event, successful of not. Let the Devil take the hindmost as some say, it had to be tried and I, J Castwell was just the guy to do it. Here and now it will be done.

I glanced first right, then left, then up over the counter where the sharp-eyed receptionist might be lurking, then nonchalantly laid the magazine along with those on the little table. You know the titles, Readers Digest, (large print edition), Arizona Highways, Ladies 'something or other,' People and some other worthless excuses for magazines of today's society. None were from this year and most about as interesting as looking at the pictures of your cousins new baby.

I had pulled it off though. She 'from behind the counter' had not seen me come in as she was busied neck-holding a phone and re-booting her computer. I had dropped it among the others and she had not seen me. Yes, my friend, I had successfully integrated a used, but most current edition of, one of the fly-fishing magazines I get each month. Live dangerously is my motto and I had just done so. I had not removed my name from the mailing sticker on the cover. How about that for intestinal fortitude. Now when the next poor victim, oops, make that patient, has to sit for interminable hours in that smartly tailored chamber of horrors, he will have some solace in the pages I have left for his momentary grip on sanity and reality.

This will become a campaign of mine. Less of stabbing my lance at wind machines and more of 'seeding' offices and waiting rooms with my left over and recently read magazines. I have in the past left a few copies with a tire dealer buddy of mine but I think he feels I am using him instead of the local recycling company to save myself a few bucks. For a while I have not left him any. His glassy stare and raised eyebrow were my last outwards resemblances of gratitude along with a barely audible grunt of, "um, oh ya, more huh? Thanks."

I eased myself into one of the office furniture type of office chairs and as I awaited my turn, I mused over the possibilities that may lay ahead. The various places I could leave these things. You name it, they all could use a copy of something of real value, namely a fly-fishing magazine. The butcher, the baker, the candlestick-maker. Why, the whole world was my oyster and I had just found the pearl, lots of them and I will spend my remaining days dispensing them as I travel about. I may become famous, like Johnny Appleseed, who went about the mid-west planting apple seeds along the high-ways and by-ways for years.

"Magazine Castwell," I can hear it now. Famous, I tell you, famous. And who among us does not want fame, even if in small doses? Surely you do? At least in your home town? Well now, my friend, here is the secret. Our secret. Together, you and I, we shall take over and convert the world. No more spinning rods, no more bait, no more C4. Just wonderful fly-fishing.

Here is how we shall do it. From this day hence, you and I, we shall form a pact, a group, a clique, a gang. We shall, at every possible turn of events, covertly leave our leftovers on the unsuspecting public. Look at the money alone saved on recycling fees. We may get rich and famous. How about that? So let's do it. Save them up, sneak them into the car, hand them out. The publishers may send us extras, free ones even. Perfect. We shall convert the world, one crummy waiting room at time. Just think, Saint Castwell! WOW.

I looked up as the office door swung open and she said, "Mr. Castwell? The Doctor will see you now. Hmm, I wonder who left this thing in here?" ~ JC

Till next week, remember . . .

Keepest Thynne Baakast Upeth

All Previous Castwell Articles
If you would like to comment on this or any other article please feel free to post your views on the FAOL Bulletin Board!

[ HOME ]

[ Search ] [ Contact FAOL ] [ Media Kit ]

FlyAnglersOnline.com © Notice