As I write this, I'm a bachelor for a week while
my wife is away at Christian women's retreat. In
an effort to keep me thinking of her, she left a
list of things I needed to get done before her
return. So much for my fishing plans.
That revived a thought I have on occasion. If I get
to "batch'" it for a week, then why don't I get to act
like a bachelor for that week? I don't mean chasing
wild women or anything like that, but maybe just the
carefree pursuit of fish? What is it about doing the
bachelor thing while the wife is away that is so
different than it was when I was single?
I have come to the conclusion that there are different
kinds of bachelorhood. While they all include spending
time in a house without a wife by your side, they are
all very different and have very different obligations
attached to them. For convenience, and so you will know
which type of bachelor I'm talking about, I have decided
to name them.
First there's the Wife is Gone Far Away (WGFA) bachelor.
That's what I am at this moment. The WGFA bachelor
usually has a list of obligations he has to accomplish
while living the temporary single life. That list
usually includes doing laundry, washing dishes and
at least one or two "honey-do" items. In my case it
included all of the above plus creating a wainscot
wall in the kitchen under the breakfast bar. We're
not talking just any wainscot wall here either. The
wall must be tongue in groove oak and stained Early
American. It took an entire weekend to finish it.
It seems that the WGFA bachelor isn't really a bachelor
at all, not even for a week, but is instead the one left
behind to keep things in order. I think the term
"batching it" was designed to give us a false sense of
liberty while we stay home and do the household chores.
I would comment more, but it seems I left my wife here
for the same amount of time last month so I could attend
a fish-in. However, I believe she did some tournament
shopping while I was away. Thus the wainscot wall thing.
Then there is the Recently Got Divorced (RGD) bachelor.
If I recall right, divorce is that state of being where
your heart is wrenched out of your body by way of your
wallet. I was a RGD bachelor for a couple of years
about 16 years ago. I did a lot of fishing then, but
I didn't have enough money to travel farther than a
few miles to do it. For some reason splitting most
of the belongings and selling the rest didn't improve
my financial situation at all. However, a couple of
lawyers got to take extended vacations, courtesy a
former wife and me.
I remember having plenty of household obligations as a
RGD bachelor. Maybe a few more than I have now, except
the honey-do list thing. I also recall being pretty
broke most of the time, so maybe that wasn't such a
great time after all. Except for the freedom to go
fishing with nobody to explain it to, that wasn't a
very good time in my life I guess.
Then there is the Ain't Got Married Yet (AGMY) bachelor
thing. I was one of those for about 20 years of my life.
For the first 16 years of that time, I had to rely on
others to take me fishing, so I didn't get out nearly
as often as I would have preferred. I had mobility the
last four years of that time; but summer jobs, part-time
jobs, school and college bills kept my nose to the
working grindstone. I didn't get to fish nearly as
often as I would have like then either.
Now that I've pondered it for a while, maybe life isn't
as tough now as I thought it was. No, I don't get to
fish as often as I would like, but I seem to get some
better quality fishing in when I do get to go. Those
honey-do projects force me to buy tools I can use to
create other things I might want to make (like fly tying
benches and such). And, my wife packs a much nicer lunch
than I do. She does it voluntarily even though I've told
her she doesn't have to do that.
Remember that complaint I had a minute ago? Yep, the
one about being a WGFA bachelor and having a honey-do
list. Forget I ever mentioned it. Her cooking is a
lot better than mine. She even knows about light
colored things and dark colored things in the laundry.
I never did do well in that area. I think I'll go and
do the dishes now; and pull that honey-do list out of