Shock and Awe; it's a term that has been dissected,
reviewed and inspected in great detail recently by
most of the major TV networks. I even heard some
guy trying to compare the real-life campaign to a
recent Hollywood movie. I don't think those guys
know what they're talking about.
If you want to see real "shock and awe," you need to
attend the Idaho Fish-In and participate in or observe
the casting competitions or at least one of the casting
clinics put on by that Castwell fella or Ladyfisher.
You'll be awed by the way Castwell can cast, and shocked
by how well Ladyfisher can keep up with him. As a side
note, you might enjoy the way they teach too.
Just so you won't have a heart attack or something worse,
I'll try to prepare you for the shocking things you'll see.
I don't want to disclose any top-secret FAOL movements here,
so I'll keep any information I give you in general terms
so as not to expose the whole plan. I'd hate to get sent
home for divulging too much information. However, keep
in mind I was once an imbedded reporter in one of their
earlier campaigns in the Black Hills of South Dakota, so
I do know what I'm talking about.
The first thing you'll likely see is the "shock" part of
their campaign. A thin and dainty looking woman will step
up and cast a whole fly line, (or at least most of it)
looking like it's the easiest thing in the world to do.
She'll continue to handle more line in the air than most
of us can dream about while talking about loop control
and line control and how they affect the performance
of your cast. And, most shocking of all, she makes
it all look effortless.
Then that Castwell guy will step up and awe you with his
ability to cast and double haul with either hand at will.
He'll probably shift the fly rod from one hand to the
other while keeping the line in the air, and all the
while he'll be describing some of the basic skills
needed to cast a fly line effectively. It'll look
like child's play as he works the line though the
air, but it'll look nearly impossible when you try
to keep that much line in the air yourself. Watching
him cast two rods at the same time in different
directions is unbelievable.
There will be some brave folks who'll try to challenge
this coalition of two in the casting contest. A recently
retired flyfishing analyst has suggested that the
confrontation will be fierce competition, but other
analysts suggest it will be a cakewalk for the Birkholm
coalition. Only time will tell us who is right, but I
think it will be a good campaign.
Some analysts have voiced concern over the supply
situation. Their biggest concerns are that there
might not be an adequate supply of food, liquid
refreshments and flies needed to deal with any
aggressive fish they might encounter. However, I
have news from a reliable source high in the FAOL
establishment who wishes to remain anonymous, that
there will be more than enough supplies on hand to
handle any unforeseen circumstance. In his words:
"The troops will be well supplied."
As the troops fan out on the local streams, they will
be awed by the beauty of the local mountains and streams.
I also suspect that the fierce attacks the local fish
will make on their flies will shock them enough to
place their attention back on the stream where the
battle wages on. Experts predict that our troops
will win most of the battles with ease, but they
also predict that a few of the best opponents will
escape to challenge them another day.
One expert said: "We have a well trained group here,
but there will be a few battles that go to the adversaries."
He also predicted that our adversaries will probably use
"weapons of wet intrusion" on anyone who wades carelessly.
He urged all of the FAOL troops to wear proper protection
against such encounters and proceed with extreme caution
in any place that looks like it could turn into a wet trap.
Well folks; that's it for tonight from the FAOL news channel.
Be brave, be aware and be planning to join the coalition in
Idaho later this year. It promises to be an adventure like
nothing you've done before. Start stocking up now with
smart flies and the other necessary gear required to
conquer the adversary. With proper preparation, we can