A recent news bulletin has me worried. It seems a national
environmental organization is proposing legal action to try to
push a ban on the use of bamboo or cane fishing poles. This
would also ban the use of classic and modern cane fly rods.
They have been joined by most of the mainstream environmental
and animal rights groups in their push to have the use of bamboo
or cane fishing utensils outlawed in this country and, if possible,
The focus of this litigation is centered on the idea that bamboo
plants are living beings. It also focuses on the idea that cutting
those living beings with the idea of making utensils used to torture
fish is unacceptable. One spokesman for the environmental
organizations recently stated that "It's unbearable to think
that these plants must die to support an industry whose goal is
to torture fish. We can't, in good conscience, stand by any longer
and let this needless destruction of living beings continue."
The animal rights crowd has embraced this as a possible way to
force a ban on all fishing in general. Citing their longstanding
relationship with the environmental community, one of their spokesmen
recently stated: "We would like to join our good friends, who we have
worked with many times in the past, in supporting this humanitarian
effort. No living being should be forced to forfeit its life merely
to entertain other living beings. This is especially true if that
forfeiture involves a so-called "sport" that's sole purpose is to
torture and humiliate other living beings like fishing does."
A spokesman for the two most radical factions of the animal rights
and environmental communities had these comments: "This is good news!
Supporters of both of our groups have fought for years with both
pen and torch to end the needless slaughter of trees, plants and
animals. There is no reason that any living being should be
sacrificed to entertain another living being. We support this
action and join our colleagues in whatever actions are necessary
to make this happen."
A lawyer, working on behalf of the petitioners, has filed a motion
in court to exclude testimony from the fishing and timber industries
citing a "right-wing plot" as reasons for the motion. His statement
to reporters after the motion was filed was: "These people have
demonstrated their desire, as part of a right-wing plot, to rape
and destroy our Mother Earth. They have joined this political
administration in its attempts to clear-cut the earth's forests,
dump oil and other debris in the oceans and rivers, destroy all
animal life, and make this planet uninhabitable for any living
being. With the timber industry raping the forests by
slaughtering all of its bamboo; and the fishing industries
using that bamboo to strip the worlds waters of all living
beings, this plot must be stopped before they destroy all
life on this planet."
The judge in this case (a known and outspoken animal rights
advocate and environmentalist) has tentatively agreed to the
motion, pending "the unlikely possibility that either group
will have anything credible to say in their defense." He has
refused to allow lawyers from either the fishing or timber
industries to petition his court in this matter. Any callers
to his office have been told that the judge refuses to discuss
this matter before the actual outcome of the case is final.
A spokesman for the timber industry said, "This is grim. If we
can't even argue our position in court, the outcome is a foregone
conclusion." When I approached a spokesman for the fishing industries
for a statement, he said he would have to get back to me. "We can't
seem to get a firm commitment to any official stand on this matter" he
stated. "It seems there are factions in this business that are
constantly at odds with each other on whether it's better to use
cane or graphite for fishing; and they can't agree to a united
statement on this matter either."
If this has you upset (and it should), there is something you can
do about it. Don't let this opportunity pass you by. Get up from
your computer, go to the mirror, look yourself in the eye and
say "gotcha." Happy April 1st (April Fools Day).